Category: English

Luxembourg is (a bit) safer than Estonia

After booking a flight to Luxembourg the paranoia service of the new travel agency strikes again. I am sparing you the details, but still:
There is no specific threat to foreigners traveling to or residing in Luxembourg. The Grand Duchy is a modern country with a stable economy and political system.
Luxembourg has a very low crime rate. Visitors should, nonetheless, take appropriate precautions.
Trafficking of drugs and firearms is illegal and can result in severe punishment.
I consider myself warned. And it is not all rosy:
There are winding roads in the countryside and cyclists or farm vehicles can sometimes impede the movement of traffic. There is also congestion during rush hours in the main cities. Visitors should take extra precautions while driving in high volume commuter and tourist traffic, or during winter fog and snowfalls.
What main cities? Plural? In Luxembourg? I have clearly underestimated the greatness of Esch-sur-Alzette, Dudelange and Differdange (about 20 thousand people each).
And then there’s the condom bit:

  • Prevention: Always use new condoms (preferably brought from your home country), do not share needles, and in hospitals, ensure that needles and syringes are new.


    • Sourcing condoms from your own country is not really an option when you learn about the trip only two days in advance…

    Rotten food is good news

    The uber-awesome brownie that was supposed to top my breakfast this morning had mould on it. My first thought was – what the fuck is going on in this supposedly fresh and organic shop next doors. Even Tesco sells stuff that is fresh for weeks and you are selling me a brownie that introduces new life to my cupboard in three days!
    Erm.. was my second thought. Another explanation for why this brownie had grown mould is that it wasn’t full of preservatives and other funny bits that you normally find in food. Memories of the bread that was forgotten in a drawer after the last move and was as fresh and soft a month later came to mind. Rotting food is good because it proves it is alive! Interesting times ahead for FMCG marketing, I’m sure.

    Book help needed

    I just finished reading A History of the World in 10 1/2 Chapters and liked it a lot. It doesn’t really tell you the history of world but it’s got 10 and a half chapters, so the name is sort of justified. The book is about seemingly disconnected events from Noah’s ark to throwing a football on the Moon that end up having a connection in a very witty and subtle way.
    I’ve had this lucky streak with books in the last year or so and I feel like king Midas – everything I touch to read turns out to be pure gold. I’ve had good recommendations, true. So please help with continuing my lucky streak and recommend me some reads. I accept English and Estonian, paberback and hardcover, novels and business books, cash and cards.
    Oh, and here are some of the books I’ve liked in the last year which hopefully help you in recommending but also serve as my recommendations to you:

  • Teadja by Tommy Hellsten. A nice short book about, well, life.
  • Catch 22 by Joseph Heller. An ironic and funny look at pointlessness. But there’s a catch. Catch 22…
  • The Python’s autobiography by the Pythons. Behind the scenes of all that madness.
  • Mees, kes teadis ussisõnu by Andrus Kivirähk. No link, no comment needed.

    • And yes, the links to books in English are Amazon Associates links. Killing two birds with one stone here – satisfying my curiosity for affiliate marketing and maybe earning a whole pound (!) that will help me buy some more books.

    Welcome to Estonia

    I like our new corporate travel agent. Their name is much more serious sounding, almost like a law firm, and it contains acronyms. They also send amusing stuff to read. Having booked flights to Tallinn yesterday I received following information about my motherland.
    Alerts
    There are no alerts at this time (Friday March 14, 2008 21:56:03 GMT ). Before you depart, please view the Estonia Country Guide for up to the minute information, or sign up for automated email alerts.
    Executive summary
    There are currently no major threats to expatriate visitors or residents in Estonia. Estonia has a low rate of violent crime. Old Town, Town Hall Square, and the Central Market are the parts of Tallinn affected most by petty crime. Although foreign travelers are not specifically targeted, criminal elements take advantage of vulnerable targets. Petty crime is common in Estonia’s major cities and there have been reported instances of pick-pocketing, purse snatching and muggings, mostly in crowded areas.
    In recent years, there have been several bomb attacks on buildings and vehicles in Estonia. Most of these incidents have been attributed to organized crime. Like most of the Baltic States, there is an organized crime presence in Estonia. Foreign travelers are generally not threatened or targeted by organized crime, but the possibility of collateral damage requires visitors to remain vigilant. Organized criminal groups are involved with stealing cars, gambling, drug trafficking, and prostitution.
    Public transportation is available and generally safe. Foreign visitors should only employ well-marked taxis and ask to see the government registration. Unregistered taxis are notorious for being unsafe and charging exorbitant fees.
    Although not a serious threat to foreign travelers, elements affiliated with organized crime may conduct kidnappings.

    Had I not been boon in that troubled country I would probably have cancelled my trip at that point at started preparing for an XXL Skype video call. But I read on, brave as I am.

    Continue reading →

    Good omens

    When the machine that serves promotional messages at Skype started producing click reports dating from 1982 all the way to 2031 I had the first hunch that in one of our secret labs someone is trying to invent a teleporting feature. I mean, anyone that didn’t sleep in physics classes at school (unfortunately this rules out myself) can tell you this may screw up linear flow of time, right? I am now sure I am onto something. Look at the calendar invite I received this morning. Apparently I’m going into a meeting tomorrow at 5.30 pm and finishing it in year 1601
    Picture%202.jpg
    If you don’t hear from me any time soon, don’t worry. Just check the Archives link on the left column here and keep an eye out on 17th century blog posts.

    Career move

    I’m going into language teaching. Yeah. Not permanently though, the first attempt should last no more than half an hour. In an email I sent my English-speaking workmates that frequently deal with Estonians I promised to teach:

  • Using polite phrases like Hi, Thank you and You look great today
  • Using useful phrases like Sorry, there has been another change in the spec and Can I get a receipt for that order of 12 sambucas
  • Phrases that get you out of trouble – at work, in the bar or elsewhere
  • Phrases that get you back into trouble
  • Why saying 12 kuud stopped being funny in May 2005

    • … All that in one lesson. So far 21 people have signed up so I better get my act together. Help welcome! What are the new Estonian expressions like Tehtud! that every foreigner should know? If you’re an English speaker – what words and expressions would you like to learn?

    The First Blog Post in English (very important!)

    Everyone knows the importance of first impression. Nothing you will do later will have quite the same impact. As someone who just started blogging in English about travelling, business ideas, marketing, kiteboarding and such I should put extra effort in making the first real English post a hit. How ironic then that my first real English blog post is about something as random as … buying a lemon tree.
    lemon%20tree.png
    Doesn’t it look nice though? If you had just discovered a flower market literally 200 meters from your house you’d do exactly the same. The guy that sold it to me said it needs very little care. It can be out on the balcony all year, there will be blossoms in May and fresh lemons in the autumn. Fertilizing with nitrogen-rich substances wouldn’t harm, but is not a must. Perfect for someone like me whose previous attempts to have some green around in the house have not had very happy endings. Not for the plants at least. And I quite liked the ones that looked like Einstein’s hair and I really did try to keep them alive.
    So now I have lemons growing on my balcony, I also happen to have salt. It’s just the tequila that’s missing.

    Written by Comments Off on The First Blog Post in English (very important!) Posted in English

    Let there be English

    Change is good. And this is not the only reason why I’m switching to the most popular language on the planet. (This reminds me someone still owes me something from a related bet. Or do I owe someone? If you’re reading this, give me a shout.) Anyway, let’s see how this goes, perhaps bi-lingual is the way, seikatsu-style. Maintaining two blogs is a definite no-no.
    If you‘re want blogs written exclusively in beautiful Estonian (I like them too), try Ants Klots, Jaanuse asjad, Jänese urg, Katariina, Linnar, Martin, Pixelpost, Stellaris, Teller, Zilmer (Later addition: that’s in English as Teller correctly pointed out) or one of the many other lovely weblogs out there. English, here I come.
    PS. If Murphy’s laws still stand, I’m sure there’s a nasty typo or grammar faux pas here somewhere.