When over at California two weeks ago, I couldn’t help but notice what an incredible opportunity this financial crisis-ridden country has missed. The answer lies in TV, or rather geniuses whose ideas local channels so kindly mediated.

They have these wonderful programs and books that are _guaranteed_ to work. Take the real estate program that makes anyone rich even without putting in any personal money. One doesn’t even need to leave the house. And your credit rating can be as bad as the songs of Eurovision.

Who needs a trillion dollar rescue package when you can a book for each American for 29.95? (19.95 if Obama acts right now.) Once that’s done, buy every citizen the lactose and gluten free diet program that will solve every health issue. And there’s still money left over from the trillion dollar purse for wars and foreign aid!

It’s really a shame I haven’t had a TV for eight years and I can only be enlightened when staying at hotels.